Fraser Trevor Fraser Trevor Author
Title: The goal is not to avoid pain or to deny what happened to us; the goal is to learn that we have the power of our child within
Author: Fraser Trevor
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When something really unforeseen happens in our life and then you go seek help, in our society many caretakers will tell us that we had so...
When something really unforeseen happens in our life and then you go seek help, in our society many caretakers will tell us that we had some kind of "trauma". And then boom, once we hear that, most of us identify with it and then, in some cases, that trauma becomes our identity, not just an event that happened in our life.
Let us study the definition of trauma from the  Merriam Webster's:.......


Trauma (N): A disordered psychic or behavioural state resulting from severe mental or emotional stress or physical injury.


A lot of us get so identified with what happened that we stay there, always identified by what happened, and in many cases, we use that identification as an excuse not to attempt to grow.




Now, We are by NO MEANS diminishing that fact that crazy things happens in our life. Bad things happen to good people. There is all kinds of suffering in the world. But that doesn't have to be where we LIVE!




We see, there are some key words in Webster's definition. The first word is "state". The state we are in changes during the day. Sometimes we are in a sleep state, sometimes we are in a groggy state, sometimes we are in an excited state.




We can be in all kinds of different states. The state that we go into when we experience a trauma is totally normal and natural. But afterwards, because we are co-creators of our life, the state we stay in is up to us.  There are no such thing as victims, because once the event happens it's up to us to choose to stay in a victim identity or choose an empowered history and become stronger in our recovery.




We can hear some of us right now screaming, "YES STAGER BUT I WAS ________" and then fill in the blank. We are not saying that these things didn't happen and that in that moment we aren't a victim. Of course we are. But after that moment happens, how we live our life, where we choose to live emotionally is up to us  and the meaning we give to the events of our past! Moments of victimhood happen, a life of being a victim is chosen and we become a victim of our choice to identify with that moment, instead of growing past it into our recovery




The goal is not to avoid pain or to deny what happened to us; the goal is to learn that we have the power of our child within us to change and that starts by not letting an event define us. Instead, we know that painful events happen and when they do, we give them our intuitive voices empowering meaning and choose not to relive and make our identity the trauma that we felt.




Who we are is infinite; we are a perfect child and we have been sent here with a specific gift that is only ours to express. The events that occur happen to shape us, to mould us and to help us step into who we are supposed to be. We are not broken. We do not need to be fixed. We are eternal and apart of a living Recovery that supports you. Give us our gifts back and don't stay stuck in a moment and let our whole life be defined by one or more events. We are so much more than that!

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