Archive for 2016

The setting for our convention in 2017 will be in an Oasis of Peace and Tranquillity set within Los Alcornocales Natural Park

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: The setting for our convention in 2017 will be in an Oasis of Peace and Tranquillity set within Los Alcornocales Natural Park
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Large numbers of Black Kites and other birds of prey migrate via the Straits of Gibraltar. (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) The setting for...

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<a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Milvus_migrans_2005-new.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: clear:left;"><img alt="Large numbers of Black Kites and other birds o..." border="0" class="zemanta-img-inserted zemanta-img-configured" height="411" src="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2f/Milvus_migrans_2005-new.jpg/350px-Milvus_migrans_2005-new.jpg" style="border: none; font-size: 0.8em;" width="350" /></a></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption zemanta-img-attribution" style="text-align: center; width: 350px;">Large numbers of Black Kites and other birds of prey migrate via the Straits of Gibraltar. (Photo credit: <a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Milvus_migrans_2005-new.jpg" target="_blank">Wikipedia</a>)</td></tr>
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The setting for our convention in 2017 will be in an Oasis of Peace and Tranquillity set within Los Alcornocales Natural Park and reached through a challenging drive across a 3 km unpaved country road, passing spectacular scenery, Cortijo La Hoya rewards the journey with unrivaled sensations. 
 
A project of love by her unbreakable owner, Cortijo La Hoya is a 150 year old typical rural ‘Andaluz’ country house, brought back to thriving life after a painstaking restoration completed in the 1980’s. 
 
Three delightful semi-detached cottages or ‘Casitas’ compose Cortijo: Casa Luna, Casa Sol and Casa Tramontana, named after the moon, the sun and the wind blowing in this part of Spain, which cools down even the hotter summer season. Breathtaking and utterly unique, each ‘Casita’ hosts 2 guests and offers uninterrupted views of the African coast with its terracotta villages just 14 km away – and a great day trip from nearby Tarifa. 
 
A majestic swimming pool with stunning views across Gibraltar straits, Morocco and the Mediterranean, lush gardens that are Fabiola’s joy and pride, pristine nature all around and the gift of a prime location within a natural park make Cortijo the ultimate refuge for the soul. 
 
Wake up to the sound of birds, sip coffee in your patio overlooking the sea, watch nature unfold before your very eyes and listen to barking foxes or ships’ horns as they sail along Gibraltar straits on their way to the open sea…this is just the beginning of a memorable holiday. 
 
La Hoya’s closest town, Pelayo, is only 2 miles away. The road to Cortijo is best accessed with a medium size vehicle, a SUV or an appropriate rental car (economy or low sport cars not recommended) as you drive through rough lanes at times. Forests of cork oak, wild olive trees, creeping clematis and wild roses lead the way to Cortijo and country walks, birdwatching, trekking, horse riding, windsurfing and lots more activities are all easy to do in the area.

The setting for our convention in 2017 will be in an Oasis of Peace and Tranquillity set within Los Alcornocales Natural Park

Large numbers of Black Kites and other birds of prey migrate via the Straits of Gibraltar. (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) The setting for...

Ten Stage Questers venture into the unknown, confront difficulties and dangers, and return home with new understandings of themselves and of the world.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Ten Stage Questers venture into the unknown, confront difficulties and dangers, and return home with new understandings of themselves and of the world.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Ten Stage Questers venture into the unknown, confront difficulties and dangers, and return home with new understandings of themselves an...

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Ten Stage Questers venture into the unknown, confront difficulties and dangers, and return home with new understandings of themselves and of the world. A pilgrimage, part trip and part ritual, is prescribed in all the spiritual traditions for those seeking healing and renewal. The impetus for the journey could be an urge to explore one's spiritual roots, a desire for absolution, a wish to pay homage, or a question that needs answering.

Ten Stage Questers venture into the unknown, confront difficulties and dangers, and return home with new understandings of themselves and of the world.

Ten Stage Questers venture into the unknown, confront difficulties and dangers, and return home with new understandings of themselves an...

Facebook Child Within Retreats

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Facebook Child Within Retreats
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/stagersonline/

Facebook Child Within Retreats

https://www.facebook.com/groups/stagersonline/

Child Within November Retreat

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Child Within November Retreat
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Wake up to the sound of birds, sip coffee on your patio overlooking the sea, watch nature unfold before your very eyes and listen to barki...

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Wake up to the sound of birds, sip coffee on your patio overlooking the sea, watch nature unfold before your very eyes and listen to barking foxes or ships’ horns as they sail along Gibraltar straits on their way to the open sea…this is just the beginning of a memorable ten stage Tarifa Retreat. 
Calm,Tide and Ripples Contemplation and Reflection. An average contemplation should not take longer than ten minutes. If it takes much longer, we are “thinking” (rehearsing, calculating) too much.

Child Within November Retreat

Wake up to the sound of birds, sip coffee on your patio overlooking the sea, watch nature unfold before your very eyes and listen to barki...

Don't let superstition block taking responsibility for our life and don't think for one second that some man made system is more powerful than our child within.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Don't let superstition block taking responsibility for our life and don't think for one second that some man made system is more powerful than our child within.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Nothing is more powerful than our child within - no planet, no karma, no calendar, no cycle. And we connect with our child within in h...

Don't let superstition block taking responsibility for our life and don't think for one second that some man made system is more powerful than our child within.

Nothing is more powerful than our child within - no planet, no karma, no calendar, no cycle. And we connect with our child within in h...

A gentle contemplation process for improving self-worth with The Ten Stages

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: A gentle contemplation process for improving self-worth with The Ten Stages
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Calm,Tide and Ripples Contemplation and Reflection. An average contemplation should not take longer than ten minutes. If it takes much...

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 Calm,Tide and Ripples Contemplation and Reflection. An average contemplation should not take longer than ten minutes. If it takes much longer, we are “thinking” (rehearsing, calculating) too much. A gentle process for improving self-worth: This program is aimed at raising our self-worth gently and consistently. Just write down the first word that comes into your head 
 
 
Week 1 Self-responsibility to me means… Independence to me means… Thinking for myself means… Trusting my own mind means… Week 2 If I operate five percent more self-responsibly today… If I think for myself today… If I bring five percent more awareness to my deepest needs and wants… If I bring five percent more awareness to what I truly think and feel… I am becoming aware… Week 3 If I am more straightforward about what I think and feel today… If I operate five percent more self-assertively today… If I treat my wants and needs with more respect today… If I express myself calmly and with dignity today… If I want to translate these ideas into action… Week 4 If I pay more attention to my inner signals today… If I am more truthful in my dealings with people today… If I am five percent more self-accepting today… If I am self-accepting even when I make mistakes… If these ideas start working in my subconscious mind… Week 5 If I disown what I am thinking and feeling… If I place other people’s thoughts above my own… When I look at what I do to impress people… If I fake who I am to make myself “likable”… I am beginning to suspect… Week 6 If I am more accepting of my feelings today… If I deny and disown my feelings… If I am more accepting of my thoughts… If I deny and disown my thoughts… I am becoming aware… Week 7 If I am more accepting of my fears… If I deny and disown my fears… If I were more accepting of my pain… If I deny and disown my pain… Right now it seems obvious that… Week 8 If I am more accepting of my desire to be liked… If I deny and disown my desire to be liked… If I learn to manage my desire for approval… If I can acknowledge my desire for approval without being controlled by it… If I want to translate these ideas into action… Week 9 If I am more accepting of my deepest self… If I deny and disown my deepest self… If I am more accepting of my intelligence… If I deny and disown my intelligence… If I allow myself to understand what I am writing… Week 10 Self-responsibility means… If I am more accepting of my thoughts and feelings, whether or not anyone shares them… If I deny and disown thoughts and feelings others do not share… If I betray my thoughts and feelings in action… If I honor my thoughts and feelings in action… I am beginning to suspect… Week 11 If I imagine being more self-responsible… If I imagine being more independent… If I imagine looking at things through my own eyes… If I take five percent more responsibility for the ideas I live by… If these ideas start working in my subconscious mind… Week 12 If I honor my judgment today… Sometimes I keep myself passive when I… Sometimes I make myself helpless when I… If I pretend to be less than I am… If I allow myself to absorb what I am writing… Week 13 If I bring five percent more integrity into my relationships… If I take five percent more responsibility for my choice of companions… If I take five percent more responsibility for my personal happiness… If I take five percent more responsibility for the level of my self-esteem… I am becoming aware… Week 14 If I lived five percent more authentically today… If I treat my thoughts and feelings with respect today… If I experiment with being more self-assertive today… If I am willing to see what I see and know what I know… If I fully face the meaning of what I am writing… Week 15 If I hold myself accountable for my promises and commitments… If I stop all excuse-making and alibiing… If I refuse to surrender to helplessness… If I were willing to say “yes” when I want to say “yes” and “no” when I want to say “no”… I am beginning to suspect… Week 16 If I were willing to let people see who I am… If I took more responsibility for delivering on my commitments… If I operate five percent more self-responsibly at work… If I operate five percent more self-responsibly in my relationships… If I choose to translate these ideas into action… Week 17 If I stay connected with what I truly think and feel… If I take more responsibility for fulfilling my wants… If I refuse to blame anyone… If I make my happiness a conscious goal… Right now it seems clear… Week 18 If I look people in the eyes and tell the truth today… If I refuse to be ruled by fear of disapproval… If I refuse to hide who I am… If I am simple, honest, and straightforward today… If I allow what I am writing to fully penetrate… Week 19 If I bring five percent more integrity to my relationships… If I remain loyal to the values I believe are right… If I refuse to live by values I do not respect… If I treat my self-respect as a high priority… I am becoming aware… Week 20 If I accept responsibility for my life and well-being… If I accept responsibility for my choices and decisions… If I accept responsibility for my actions… If I accept responsibility for how I deal with people… If I choose to translate these ideas into action… Week 21 If I want to grow in independence, I will need to… If I want to grow in self-esteem, I will need to… If I want to be more authentic, I will need to… If I want to outgrow dependency, I will need to… If I am willing to experiment with these ideas in action… Week 22 If I look at things through my own eyes today… If I am willing to see what I see and know what I know… If I am truthful today, even if it’s difficult… I grow in self-respect when I… I am becoming aware… Week 23 If I operate five percent more self-responsibly today… If I operate five percent more self-assertively today… If I operate five percent more authentically today… If I operate five percent more honestly today… Right now it seems clear that… Week 24 As I grow in self-responsibility… As I grow in independence… As I learn to say what I truly think and feel… As I learn to look at things through my own eyes… If these ideas start working in my subconscious mind… Week 25 Sometimes when I am afraid of self-responsibility I… Sometimes when I am afraid of independence I… If I want to outgrow any fear I have of self-responsibility… If I want to outgrow any fear I have of independence… I am beginning to suspect… Week 26 One of the things I’ve been learning through this program is… As I notice when I am being self-responsible and when I am not fully… As I notice when I am being authentic and when I am not fully… As I notice how I feel when I am honest… I am becoming aware… Week 27 I feel most proud of myself when I… I feel least proud of myself when I… If I give myself credit for my willingness to struggle… If I give myself credit for my dedication to personal growth… If I allow myself to understand what I am writing… Week 28 As I learn to translate what I am learning into action… As I continue the struggle, even when it’s difficult… If I choose to persevere, no matter how long it takes… One of the ways I am changing is… I am beginning to suspect… Week 29 As my understanding of self-responsibility deepens… As my understanding of independence deepens… As I learn to be more authentic when dealing with people… As everything I am learning takes root in my subconscious mind… I am becoming aware… Week 30 As I learn to operate at a higher level of self-responsibility… As I learn to operate at a higher level of independence… As I learn to pay more attention to what I truly think and feel… As I learn to treat myself with more respect… As I go on translating these learnings into action… 
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A gentle contemplation process for improving self-worth with The Ten Stages

Calm,Tide and Ripples Contemplation and Reflection. An average contemplation should not take longer than ten minutes. If it takes much...

Don't think for one second that some man made system is more powerful than our child within. It's not and never will be.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Don't think for one second that some man made system is more powerful than our child within. It's not and never will be.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

No matter what calendar you use - the Mayan calendar or the modern day Gregorian calendar, they are ALL man made. In fact, a pope - Pope...

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No matter what calendar you use - the Mayan calendar or the modern day Gregorian calendar, they are ALL man made. In fact, a pope - Pope Gregory, created the calendar we use today, and it was made official in the 1500s. So it's not even 500 years old. And yet we place so much emphasis into a cycle and number system that we created, and it isn't even that old. Yet we buy into this superstition. 
And in doing do, we forget the real recovery work. 
Which is always in the present moment. We dress up our spirituality like it's some kind of entertainment or superstitious thing and give all the emphasis to a date or an "era" that we live in instead of doing the work and BEING an example of Loving-Kindness. We don't care if it's the beginning, middle or end of a calendar. We don't care what's in retrograde or what our sign "tends" to be like. We don't really care what our birthday numbers "say" about us, or if we think today is the day after the end of the world or the first day of a new world. ALL of it is our human projection. And none of it means anything if we are not being compassionate. It's just entertainment at best and an excuse for us not to grow and play the victim at worst. 
The only thing we are meant to do is Be our example of Loving-Kindness - NOW. This present moment is all we ever have and it doesn't matter what cycle we are in or not in - what matters is that we keep connecting to our Source he child within - that we keep practicing the principles of our recovery path and that we do not use the excuse of a superstitious belief system to justify what we need to take responsibility for. There is a kind of spiritual escapism or justification that really bothers us. We once had friends who were total jerks and did some very nasty things to themselves and us. These were dear friends at the time and they justified it by saying, "I'm a Scorpio,a Virgo and an Aries  it's in our nature," thus taking zero responsibility for their part they played in it. It's not that they are or are not a Scorpio - they acted and it's important to be able to be responsible for the action we take - no matter our sign, what a calendar says or what is in retrograde. Whenever we hear people talk about Mercury being in retrograde as a reason to justify their problems, we always say - "Mercury may be in retrograde, but we are not." Nothing is more powerful than our child within - no planet, no karma, no calendar, no cycle. And we connect with our child within in here and now. Don't let superstition block taking responsibility for our life and don't think for one second that some man made system is more powerful than our child within. It's not and never will be. 
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Don't think for one second that some man made system is more powerful than our child within. It's not and never will be.

No matter what calendar you use - the Mayan calendar or the modern day Gregorian calendar, they are ALL man made. In fact, a pope - Pope...

Punishment didn’t solve our child withins problems; it intensifies them.

Fraser Trevor

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Title: Punishment didn’t solve our child withins problems; it intensifies them.
Author: Fraser Trevor
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Punishment didn’t solve our child withins problems; it intensifies them. Want to know a secret about punishment? It requires consta...

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Punishment didn’t solve our child withins problems; it intensifies them. 
 
 
Want to know a secret about punishment? 
 
It requires constant escalation. 
 
In order to maintain the temporary effect of controlling behaviour, the punishment, or threats of punishment, must constantly be ramped up. we who had the experience of starting out with popping a tiny hand escalate to smacking a chubby little leg, then paddling a small bottom. Over time, as our children’s needs which have been driven underground emerge in ever-increasing behavioural issues, we found out often they the controllers are resorting to yelling and threats and physical punishment more and more often. 
 
 
We who have experienced the use punishment-based parenting approaches other than physical punishment find that they must escalate and escalate to keep us under ‘control.’ Behaviour charts, time-outs, grounding, and removing privileges are some examples of non-physical punishment-based behaviour we have experienced. While these behaviour modification techniques may be less painful our child within physically, they still didn’t address the underlying needs being communicated by the behaviour and often are as destructive to the parent/child relationship.

Punishment didn’t solve our child withins problems; it intensifies them.

Punishment didn’t solve our child withins problems; it intensifies them. Want to know a secret about punishment? It requires consta...

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