A gentle contemplation process for improving self-worth with The Ten Stages

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEP0njALcLzW194v3wMZdQTVveLH26CBZ6wrV13EVdCg6SpWk7Yd-gHQaniJhsO6o5nDfmRtDr266os_HmZG6L_QJeWVDZGPweVqf-NUpVdPk6pmf0pdjArwe-2LNNjUMMOykbKptryD0/s1600/1-higher+power.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEP0njALcLzW194v3wMZdQTVveLH26CBZ6wrV13EVdCg6SpWk7Yd-gHQaniJhsO6o5nDfmRtDr266os_HmZG6L_QJeWVDZGPweVqf-NUpVdPk6pmf0pdjArwe-2LNNjUMMOykbKptryD0/s1600/1-higher+power.jpg" /></a></div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: medium;"><br /><i>Calm,Tide and Ripples Contemplation and Reflection. An average contemplation should not take longer than ten minutes. If it takes much longer, we are “thinking” (rehearsing, calculating) too much.<br /><br />A gentle process for improving self-worth: This program is aimed at raising our self-worth gently and consistently. Just write down the first word that comes into your head</i></span><br /> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><i>Week 1<br />Self-responsibility to me means…<br />Independence to me means…<br />Thinking for myself means…<br />Trusting my own mind means…<br /><br /><br />Week 2<br />If I operate five percent more self-responsibly today…<br />If I think for myself today…<br />If I bring five percent more awareness to my deepest needs and wants…<br />If I bring five percent more awareness to what I truly think and feel…<br />I am becoming aware…<br /><br /><br />Week 3<br />If I am more straightforward about what I think and feel today…<br />If I operate five percent more self-assertively today…<br />If I treat my wants and needs with more respect today…<br />If I express myself calmly and with dignity today…<br />If I want to translate these ideas into action…<br /><br /><br />Week 4<br />If I pay more attention to my inner signals today…<br />If I am more truthful in my dealings with people today…<br />If I am five percent more self-accepting today…<br />If I am self-accepting even when I make mistakes…<br />If these ideas start working in my subconscious mind…<br /><br /><br /><br />Week 5<br />If I disown what I am thinking and feeling…<br />If I place other people’s thoughts above my own…<br />When I look at what I do to impress people…<br />If I fake who I am to make myself “likable”…<br />I am beginning to suspect…<br /><br /><br />Week 6<br />If I am more accepting of my feelings today…<br />If I deny and disown my feelings…<br />If I am more accepting of my thoughts…<br />If I deny and disown my thoughts…<br />I am becoming aware…<br /><br /><br />Week 7<br />If I am more accepting of my fears…<br />If I deny and disown my fears…<br />If I were more accepting of my pain…<br />If I deny and disown my pain…<br />Right now it seems obvious that…<br /><br /><br />Week 8<br />If I am more accepting of my desire to be liked…<br />If I deny and disown my desire to be liked…<br />If I learn to manage my desire for approval…<br />If I can acknowledge my desire for approval without being controlled by it…<br />If I want to translate these ideas into action…<br /><br /><br /><br />Week 9<br />If I am more accepting of my deepest self…<br />If I deny and disown my deepest self…<br />If I am more accepting of my intelligence…<br />If I deny and disown my intelligence…<br />If I allow myself to understand what I am writing…<br /><br /><br />Week 10<br />Self-responsibility means…<br />If I am more accepting of my thoughts and feelings, whether or not anyone shares them…<br />If I deny and disown thoughts and feelings others do not share…<br />If I betray my thoughts and feelings in action…<br />If I honor my thoughts and feelings in action…<br />I am beginning to suspect…<br /><br /><br />Week 11<br />If I imagine being more self-responsible…<br />If I imagine being more independent…<br />If I imagine looking at things through my own eyes…<br />If I take five percent more responsibility for the ideas I live by…<br />If these ideas start working in my subconscious mind…<br /><br /><br />Week 12<br />If I honor my judgment today…<br />Sometimes I keep myself passive when I…<br />Sometimes I make myself helpless when I…<br />If I pretend to be less than I am…<br />If I allow myself to absorb what I am writing…<br /><br /><br /><br />Week 13<br />If I bring five percent more integrity into my relationships…<br />If I take five percent more responsibility for my choice of companions…<br />If I take five percent more responsibility for my personal happiness…<br />If I take five percent more responsibility for the level of my self-esteem…<br />I am becoming aware…<br /><br /><br />Week 14<br />If I lived five percent more authentically today…<br />If I treat my thoughts and feelings with respect today…<br />If I experiment with being more self-assertive today…<br />If I am willing to see what I see and know what I know…<br />If I fully face the meaning of what I am writing…<br /><br /><br />Week 15<br />If I hold myself accountable for my promises and commitments…<br />If I stop all excuse-making and alibiing…<br />If I refuse to surrender to helplessness…<br />If I were willing to say “yes” when I want to say “yes” and “no” when I want to say “no”…<br />I am beginning to suspect…<br /><br /><br />Week 16<br />If I were willing to let people see who I am…<br />If I took more responsibility for delivering on my commitments…<br />If I operate five percent more self-responsibly at work…<br />If I operate five percent more self-responsibly in my relationships…<br />If I choose to translate these ideas into action…<br /><br /><br /><br />Week 17<br />If I stay connected with what I truly think and feel…<br />If I take more responsibility for fulfilling my wants…<br />If I refuse to blame anyone…<br />If I make my happiness a conscious goal…<br />Right now it seems clear…<br /><br /><br />Week 18<br />If I look people in the eyes and tell the truth today…<br />If I refuse to be ruled by fear of disapproval…<br />If I refuse to hide who I am…<br />If I am simple, honest, and straightforward today…<br />If I allow what I am writing to fully penetrate…<br /><br /><br />Week 19<br />If I bring five percent more integrity to my relationships…<br />If I remain loyal to the values I believe are right…<br />If I refuse to live by values I do not respect…<br />If I treat my self-respect as a high priority…<br />I am becoming aware…<br /><br /><br />Week 20<br />If I accept responsibility for my life and well-being…<br />If I accept responsibility for my choices and decisions…<br />If I accept responsibility for my actions…<br />If I accept responsibility for how I deal with people…<br />If I choose to translate these ideas into action…<br /><br /><br /><br />Week 21<br />If I want to grow in independence, I will need to…<br />If I want to grow in self-esteem, I will need to…<br />If I want to be more authentic, I will need to…<br />If I want to outgrow dependency, I will need to…<br />If I am willing to experiment with these ideas in action…<br /><br /><br />Week 22<br />If I look at things through my own eyes today…<br />If I am willing to see what I see and know what I know…<br />If I am truthful today, even if it’s difficult…<br />I grow in self-respect when I…<br />I am becoming aware…<br /><br /><br />Week 23<br />If I operate five percent more self-responsibly today…<br />If I operate five percent more self-assertively today…<br />If I operate five percent more authentically today…<br />If I operate five percent more honestly today…<br />Right now it seems clear that…<br /><br /><br />Week 24<br />As I grow in self-responsibility…<br />As I grow in independence…<br />As I learn to say what I truly think and feel…<br />As I learn to look at things through my own eyes…<br />If these ideas start working in my subconscious mind…<br /><br /><br /><br />Week 25<br />Sometimes when I am afraid of self-responsibility I…<br />Sometimes when I am afraid of independence I…<br />If I want to outgrow any fear I have of self-responsibility…<br />If I want to outgrow any fear I have of independence…<br />I am beginning to suspect…<br /><br /><br />Week 26<br />One of the things I’ve been learning through this program is…<br />As I notice when I am being self-responsible and when I am not fully…<br />As I notice when I am being authentic and when I am not fully…<br />As I notice how I feel when I am honest…<br />I am becoming aware…<br /><br /><br />Week 27<br />I feel most proud of myself when I…<br />I feel least proud of myself when I…<br />If I give myself credit for my willingness to struggle…<br />If I give myself credit for my dedication to personal growth…<br />If I allow myself to understand what I am writing…<br /><br /><br />Week 28<br />As I learn to translate what I am learning into action…<br />As I continue the struggle, even when it’s difficult…<br />If I choose to persevere, no matter how long it takes…<br />One of the ways I am changing is…<br />I am beginning to suspect…<br /><br /><br /><br />Week 29<br />As my understanding of self-responsibility deepens…<br />As my understanding of independence deepens…<br />As I learn to be more authentic when dealing with people…<br />As everything I am learning takes root in my subconscious mind…<br />I am becoming aware…<br /><br /><br />Week 30<br />As I learn to operate at a higher level of self-responsibility…<br />As I learn to operate at a higher level of independence…<br />As I learn to pay more attention to what I truly think and feel…<br />As I learn to treat myself with more respect…<br />As I go on translating these learnings into action…</i></span><br /> <div class="zemanta-related" style="clear: both; margin-top: 20px; overflow: hidden;"> <h4 class="zemanta-related-title"> Related articles</h4> <ul class="zemanta-article-ul zemanta-article-ul-image" style="margin: 0; overflow: hidden; padding: 0;"> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/12/child-withins-hidden-agenda-workshops.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/365278838_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/12/child-withins-hidden-agenda-workshops.html" style="background-image: none; 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A gentle contemplation process for improving self-worth with The Ten Stages

Calm,Tide and Ripples Contemplation and Reflection. An average contemplation should not take longer than ten minutes. If it takes much longer, we are “thinking” (rehearsing, calculating) too much.A g…

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Don't think for one second that some man made system is more powerful than our child within. It's not and never will be.

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDysTMCw12LUCY16_g56thCAElLynkm_aYWaMIYCMEFAr8_jFy3D2aek_Izr7ThKUvzyaFfO6VPoDxBROPi4ivnKwYVkf8JeF11yqlpATKHWJW6YdHGdHrUD4qRt-c3jvftCKYktOlg-k/s1600/1887.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDysTMCw12LUCY16_g56thCAElLynkm_aYWaMIYCMEFAr8_jFy3D2aek_Izr7ThKUvzyaFfO6VPoDxBROPi4ivnKwYVkf8JeF11yqlpATKHWJW6YdHGdHrUD4qRt-c3jvftCKYktOlg-k/s320/1887.jpg" width="250" /></a></div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">No matter what calendar you use - the Mayan calendar or the modern day Gregorian calendar, they are ALL man made. In fact, a pope - Pope Gregory, created the calendar we use today, and it was made official in the 1500s. So it's not even 500 years old. And yet we place so much emphasis into a cycle and number system that we created, and it isn't even that old. Yet we buy into this superstition.<br /></span><br /> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">And in doing do, we forget the real recovery work.<br /></span><br /> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Which is always in the present moment. We dress up our spirituality like it's some kind of entertainment or superstitious thing and give all the emphasis to a date or an "era" that we live in instead of doing the work and BEING an example of Loving-Kindness. We don't care if it's the beginning, middle or end of a calendar. We don't care what's in retrograde or what our sign "tends" to be like. We don't really care what our birthday numbers "say" about us, or if we think today is the day after the end of the world or the first day of a new world.<br /><br />ALL of it is our human projection. And none of it means anything if we are not being compassionate. It's just entertainment at best and an excuse for us not to grow and play the victim at worst.<br /></span><br /> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">The only thing we are meant to do is Be our example of Loving-Kindness - NOW. This present moment is all we ever have and it doesn't matter what cycle we are in or not in - what matters is that we keep connecting to our Source he child within - that we keep practicing the principles of our recovery path and that we do not use the excuse of a superstitious belief system to justify what we need to take responsibility for.<br /><br />There is a kind of spiritual escapism or justification that really bothers us. We once had friends who were total jerks and did some very nasty things to themselves and us. These were dear friends at the time and they justified it by saying, "I'm a Scorpio,a Virgo and an Aries  it's in our nature," thus taking zero responsibility for their part they played in it. It's not that they are or are not a Scorpio - they acted and it's important to be able to be responsible for the action we take - no matter our sign, what a calendar says or what is in retrograde.<br /><br />Whenever we hear people talk about Mercury being in retrograde as a reason to justify their problems, we always say - "Mercury may be in retrograde, but we are not."<br /><br />Nothing is more powerful than our child within - no planet, no karma, no calendar, no cycle. And we connect with our child within in here and now. Don't let superstition block taking responsibility for our life and don't think for one second that some man made system is more powerful than our child within. It's not and never will be.</span><br /> <div> <span style="color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div> <div class="zemanta-related" style="clear: both; margin-top: 20px; overflow: hidden;"> <h4 class="zemanta-related-title"> Related articles</h4> <ul class="zemanta-article-ul zemanta-article-ul-image" style="margin: 0; overflow: hidden; padding: 0;"> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/12/half-way-through-course-after.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/364124457_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/12/half-way-through-course-after.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Half way through the course after meditations we will start practicing using our newly found intuitive voice</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://intuitivecontact.blogspot.com/2015/06/the-sickness-will-not-come-to-end.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/348006894_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://intuitivecontact.blogspot.com/2015/06/the-sickness-will-not-come-to-end.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">The sickness will not come to an end.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/06/at-our-conception-we-are-perfect-we-are.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/349653879_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/06/at-our-conception-we-are-perfect-we-are.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">At our conception, we are perfect. We are born imbued with truth, a spark of the divine</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/08/our-addictivedysfunctional-behaviour-in.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/noimg_85_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/08/our-addictivedysfunctional-behaviour-in.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Our addictive/dysfunctional behaviour in the past has mystified us</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/06/we-live-in-world-today-that-lacks.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/348786016_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/06/we-live-in-world-today-that-lacks.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">We live in a world today that lacks loving-kindness and compassion for our fellow man and woman.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/05/at-stages-we-acknowledge-that-to-be.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/340960532_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/05/at-stages-we-acknowledge-that-to-be.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">At the Stages we acknowledge that to be present also means to ground ourself and not dissociate</a></li> </ul> </div>

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Don't think for one second that some man made system is more powerful than our child within. It's not and never will be.

No matter what calendar you use - the Mayan calendar or the modern day Gregorian calendar, they are ALL man made. In fact, a pope - Pope Gregory, created the calendar we use today, and it was made of…

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Punishment didn’t solve our child withins problems; it intensifies them.

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQu0ifezV5EEA_OMWlynVsOO05KxZBBpVPpHiNSn0yX583csJuBjaf-z7mOY3tyyv5ZJxE7-jtgBQQ1xd9yGrOZdfBkqNn3FhaBKMsvHArTeBDpOj1aR8m7oEjTOzOOOQnSef3mxcYH6g/s1600/good+things.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQu0ifezV5EEA_OMWlynVsOO05KxZBBpVPpHiNSn0yX583csJuBjaf-z7mOY3tyyv5ZJxE7-jtgBQQ1xd9yGrOZdfBkqNn3FhaBKMsvHArTeBDpOj1aR8m7oEjTOzOOOQnSef3mxcYH6g/s320/good+things.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><i>Punishment didn’t solve our child withins problems; it intensifies them.</i></span><br /> <br style="font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;" /> <br style="font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;" /> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Want to know a secret about punishment?</span><br /> <br style="font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;" /> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">It requires constant escalation.</span><br /> <br style="font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;" /> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">In order to maintain the temporary effect of controlling behaviour, the punishment, or threats of punishment, must constantly be ramped up. we who had the experience of starting out with popping a tiny hand escalate to smacking a chubby little leg, then paddling a small bottom. Over time, as our children’s needs which have been driven underground emerge in ever-increasing behavioural issues, we found out often they the controllers are resorting to yelling and threats and physical punishment more and more often.</span><br /> <br style="font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;" /> <br style="font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;" /> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">We who have experienced the use punishment-based parenting approaches other than physical punishment find that they must escalate and escalate to keep us under ‘control.’ Behaviour charts, time-outs, grounding, and removing privileges are some examples of non-physical punishment-based behaviour we have experienced. While these behaviour modification techniques may be less painful our child within physically, they still didn’t address the underlying needs being communicated by the behaviour and often are as destructive to the parent/child relationship.</span>

Punishment didn’t solve our child withins problems; it intensifies them.

Punishment didn’t solve our child withins problems; it intensifies them. Want to know a secret about punishment? It requires constant escalation. In order to maintain the temporary effect of controll…

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